Chronicle #5

Hey again, thanks for being here. I hope you are healthy and happy.

When I was a young girl, I felt like a year was an eternity. I could not fathom the lessons that I would endure and ached to be older. Now that I am 20, I can comprehend that a year will fly by in a short glance. With age comes new responsibilities, and lessons that serve more meaning.

There is a difference between someone being responsible for your pain and the way you handle it. Sure people can be part of a situation that caused you hurt, but the way you handle it is the way the pain will affect you. When you pickup a habit of blaming those for the pain you endure, you slow and prolong the hurt. When you notice that you are the only person in charge of your healing cycle, then you will begin to grow. Most of the time, people who cause harm are those who are hurting themselves– yet this is never an excuse. Bad things will happen, and the only thing we can do is move past them.

When you find yourself healing, do not seek closure from a person or situation. It is a natural human desire to use closure as an excuse to go back to the brief moment of clarity. Yet, closure will never come from someone else. Closure comes from the way you heal, and what the hurt will ultimately teach you in the long run. People can give clarity to what may have confused you or to the constant question of why but they will never have the ability to fulfill the healing that only you can do.

There have been so many instances when I wished that I could have never met the person, or situation that brought me pain. I would dwell and think that all of these negative feelings were avoidable if I were more careful. But the truth is, I am so thankful for every thing that has caused me pain. Thank you for allowing me to build a new level of respect and trust within myself, and thank you for reminding me that nothing will ever be the end of the world. There will always be a new place for beauty to grow.

Growing is a natural human occurrence that allows us to be better versions of ourselves. When we grow, we can drift away from people and relationships. Sometimes they are in your life for a brief second to teach you a lesson, and sometimes they are there to stick around to remind you of the previous lessons learned. Regardless of the purpose, it is completely normal for relationships and people to drift.

I know that change and losing people can be such an uncomfortable and hard feeling, but when we decide to look at the loss as a potential gain, we can spend more time with the brighter side of our minds. It is in our control to decipher how much something will weigh on us. The more we let the loss of something consume our mental periphery, the more it will become engraved to us. When we can see the loss as room to grow, we can grow with the change.

Of course, the loss of someone tends to hurt much more when there is a lack of understanding or it was not your fault. Do not let yourself feel like a victim, but instead understand that every person is searching for something– and the brutal truth is sometimes that something does not include us. Feel proud of their journey and move on with yours. Life keeps moving and so should we.

You are exactly where you need to be!

Thanks for being here,

Chronicles of Life From an Outstander